'I was a dreamer before you went and let me down...'
It's okay to not have the white horse.
Its okay to have other priorities. It's okay to focus on other parts of your life as your main priority for awhile. But - realize, that its love that makes you feel complete.
So get over it.
Okay, I'm officially going out of my mind. I decided that instead of going out with Amber, as planned - on Friday, to head to F-town to hang with my crew because I was a bit homesick after last week.
Well, after making a point to hang with Jocelyn and Timmy (and trying to act normal) I ended up with a good weeked's tips and still a bit confused. I really wish he woudn't text me about how good my hair looks - or sit by me. Just leave me alone so I can get over the thought of us!
Anyways, I saw this cute guy who I work with at ACP at the Hotel tonight...
Well, after making a point to hang with Jocelyn and Timmy (and trying to act normal) I ended up with a good weeked's tips and still a bit confused. I really wish he woudn't text me about how good my hair looks - or sit by me. Just leave me alone so I can get over the thought of us!
Anyways, I saw this cute guy who I work with at ACP at the Hotel tonight...
I REALLY hope they know how much work I'm doing at ACP. Back when we had a purchase order team, they would complain about answering PO calls while entering orders. I enter all of the Home Depot orders while taking PO calls as well as customer service calls. Plus I have to call back all of the after-hour voicemails and answer all of the website emails. This on top of the 20 minute tech support calls that are all the rage right now, makes me want to shoot someone, lol. This week its been super hard to not fly off the handle, but since we got rid of Ryan, I feel as if I have to pick my battles. I know things will get better, but when I get overwhelmed, I can't help but act frusterated. I try to just bitch about the customers and not turn on my team, but it's hard to be above the line all of the time. Kristi made a comment today, (because on top of everything else, we had to take turns watching the front desk :/) that I had new orders coming in every other minute. THANK YOU! I KNOW - and its getting harder and harder to keep up. Mandy said there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I can't wait to be blinded by it, lol. Its a good think I really like most of my coworkers - laughing with them is my only saving grace. Blah, enough whining about work, I'm punched out.
Weekend was okay. Thursday I went to Wicked with some of the gals from work and their friends. We all met at one of their houses where we drank wine and munched. After a few sips of wine, the conversation turned into guys, bad dates, and online dating. Although I really don't want to imagine myself being single forever, its nice to know that other women can be successful without ever giving up on her happily ever after.
Friday I went out with Nicole and her friends. The plan was to catch dinner and go watch He's Just Not That Into You, but after a few drinks we decided to skip the movie all together. Nicole and I ended up being out until 3am (it's been awhile since I've seen that time!) and I ended up sleeping past 11.
I'm proud of myself for going out with new people this week. While I love my crew back in F-town, I think it's good for me to start networking and making more friends.
Timmy was in a car accident this weekend. It shook me up a little, but he's okay. I'm almost done with the crush, lol, because I'm starting to think about the negative things. 22 years old, seriously? What 22 year old kid is going to be able to handle my shit?!
I'm thinking by next week, he'll be back to brother status and I'll have to apologize for being so weird about things. I can't believe how insecure I'm capable of being. Shame on me!
Friday I went out with Nicole and her friends. The plan was to catch dinner and go watch He's Just Not That Into You, but after a few drinks we decided to skip the movie all together. Nicole and I ended up being out until 3am (it's been awhile since I've seen that time!) and I ended up sleeping past 11.
I'm proud of myself for going out with new people this week. While I love my crew back in F-town, I think it's good for me to start networking and making more friends.
Timmy was in a car accident this weekend. It shook me up a little, but he's okay. I'm almost done with the crush, lol, because I'm starting to think about the negative things. 22 years old, seriously? What 22 year old kid is going to be able to handle my shit?!
I'm thinking by next week, he'll be back to brother status and I'll have to apologize for being so weird about things. I can't believe how insecure I'm capable of being. Shame on me!
to blog.
Don’t really know how to start this thing. I’ve been a workaholic for over 10 years now, and I’m learning that I have to be the one to find happiness, not vice versa. Growing older scares me, but I wouldn’t go back if I had to lose what I know now. This year my main goal was to not be so hard on myself. I’m starting this blog after my first (failed) attempt at a relationship this year. A big step for me, considering the 7 year relationship hole.
After I knew it wasn't going to work...
Day 1.
I woke up early, because I couldn’t sleep because I felt guilty about the whole Timmy situation. I felt rejected and hurt, but also guilty for putting so much pressure on myself and him. Normally I would put down the guy to get over the hurt, but I can’t because he’s my friend. Felt like shit ALL day, and talking to Kristi about it helped. Did the whole sad song thing on youtube then caught some old Friend's bloopers vids. Felt a little better after that too.
Day 2.
Felt some sad pains early in the day – but only because I was focusing on the “what could have been..” part. But then it got busy and by the end of the day I felt great and now I can actually call today a good day. I feel the exact opposite of yesterday. I don’t want to think about our thing anymore and if I do, I’m focusing on making it go back to the way it used to. He’s a good friend, and I want him to be happy. Allowing myself to be depressed and crabby doesn’t hurt anyone else but myself. I’m actually liking being 27 and able to realize this.
I got a new phone and I’m in love with it! (see, it doesn’t take much, lol) I’m going to start working away from the office with it, and hoping to up my chance for any possible promotions. Can you say overachiever? I can’t help it! I really like my job and I consider myself an engaged employee – they’ve treated me great and I want to prove that I’m worth it. I’d like to implement an online customer service support option and I’m in awe that I have the opportunity to do it now. From a work perspective, my life has a rewarding future.
Totally cannot wait until summer. SPRING even - granted that Wisco sees one this year. I'm going stir crazy and I can't wait to be outside. I really want to take advantage of the warm seasons this year. I have lots of plans in mind and I hope I make time to carry them out. I can't wait for it to be busy at the club and slow at ACP for awhile. I know, totally 'below the line.' thinking, lol.
Well, that's all I've got for you. And by you I mean Kristi because she's the only one who I'll probably ever let read this. And who I will forever refer to in the 3rd person because its fun.
Don’t really know how to start this thing. I’ve been a workaholic for over 10 years now, and I’m learning that I have to be the one to find happiness, not vice versa. Growing older scares me, but I wouldn’t go back if I had to lose what I know now. This year my main goal was to not be so hard on myself. I’m starting this blog after my first (failed) attempt at a relationship this year. A big step for me, considering the 7 year relationship hole.
After I knew it wasn't going to work...
Day 1.
I woke up early, because I couldn’t sleep because I felt guilty about the whole Timmy situation. I felt rejected and hurt, but also guilty for putting so much pressure on myself and him. Normally I would put down the guy to get over the hurt, but I can’t because he’s my friend. Felt like shit ALL day, and talking to Kristi about it helped. Did the whole sad song thing on youtube then caught some old Friend's bloopers vids. Felt a little better after that too.
Day 2.
Felt some sad pains early in the day – but only because I was focusing on the “what could have been..” part. But then it got busy and by the end of the day I felt great and now I can actually call today a good day. I feel the exact opposite of yesterday. I don’t want to think about our thing anymore and if I do, I’m focusing on making it go back to the way it used to. He’s a good friend, and I want him to be happy. Allowing myself to be depressed and crabby doesn’t hurt anyone else but myself. I’m actually liking being 27 and able to realize this.
I got a new phone and I’m in love with it! (see, it doesn’t take much, lol) I’m going to start working away from the office with it, and hoping to up my chance for any possible promotions. Can you say overachiever? I can’t help it! I really like my job and I consider myself an engaged employee – they’ve treated me great and I want to prove that I’m worth it. I’d like to implement an online customer service support option and I’m in awe that I have the opportunity to do it now. From a work perspective, my life has a rewarding future.
Totally cannot wait until summer. SPRING even - granted that Wisco sees one this year. I'm going stir crazy and I can't wait to be outside. I really want to take advantage of the warm seasons this year. I have lots of plans in mind and I hope I make time to carry them out. I can't wait for it to be busy at the club and slow at ACP for awhile. I know, totally 'below the line.' thinking, lol.
Well, that's all I've got for you. And by you I mean Kristi because she's the only one who I'll probably ever let read this. And who I will forever refer to in the 3rd person because its fun.
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