I finally scratched the itch...

to blog.

Don’t really know how to start this thing. I’ve been a workaholic for over 10 years now, and I’m learning that I have to be the one to find happiness, not vice versa. Growing older scares me, but I wouldn’t go back if I had to lose what I know now. This year my main goal was to not be so hard on myself. I’m starting this blog after my first (failed) attempt at a relationship this year. A big step for me, considering the 7 year relationship hole.

After I knew it wasn't going to work...

Day 1.
I woke up early, because I couldn’t sleep because I felt guilty about the whole Timmy situation. I felt rejected and hurt, but also guilty for putting so much pressure on myself and him. Normally I would put down the guy to get over the hurt, but I can’t because he’s my friend. Felt like shit ALL day, and talking to Kristi about it helped. Did the whole sad song thing on youtube then caught some old Friend's bloopers vids. Felt a little better after that too.

Day 2.
Felt some sad pains early in the day – but only because I was focusing on the “what could have been..” part. But then it got busy and by the end of the day I felt great and now I can actually call today a good day. I feel the exact opposite of yesterday. I don’t want to think about our thing anymore and if I do, I’m focusing on making it go back to the way it used to. He’s a good friend, and I want him to be happy. Allowing myself to be depressed and crabby doesn’t hurt anyone else but myself. I’m actually liking being 27 and able to realize this.
I got a new phone and I’m in love with it! (see, it doesn’t take much, lol) I’m going to start working away from the office with it, and hoping to up my chance for any possible promotions. Can you say overachiever? I can’t help it! I really like my job and I consider myself an engaged employee – they’ve treated me great and I want to prove that I’m worth it. I’d like to implement an online customer service support option and I’m in awe that I have the opportunity to do it now. From a work perspective, my life has a rewarding future.

Totally cannot wait until summer. SPRING even - granted that Wisco sees one this year. I'm going stir crazy and I can't wait to be outside. I really want to take advantage of the warm seasons this year. I have lots of plans in mind and I hope I make time to carry them out. I can't wait for it to be busy at the club and slow at ACP for awhile. I know, totally 'below the line.' thinking, lol.

Well, that's all I've got for you. And by you I mean Kristi because she's the only one who I'll probably ever let read this. And who I will forever refer to in the 3rd person because its fun.